The Pain of Discipline...

I was doing push-ups the other day, 100 of them, and along the way, my arms began to really ache. I realized that the results I wanted that I had firmly imprinted in my mind, were only available if I continued to press through the pain. Make no mistake about it, there was DEFINITELY a sensation of pain. A burning. A hot, cool, "I hate you for making me do this" feeling that my body was trying to tell my mind.

I have been thinking a lot about this concept lately. I was in Africa a few weeks ago, and it struck me that I often picture a person in my mind who is praying and crying out to God. He is passionate. He is tender. He is strong in the Lord. The effect this has more often than not though, is a discouraging one on me.

Its discouraging when I don't measure up to the picture in my mind. Its discouraging when I don't have that passion. Its disheartening when I pray without focus, or desire, or without any tenderness. I feel so, discouraged.

I realized there was a fundamental flaw in my thinking. It was found in the fact that I was consistently imagining myself being a better 'me.' I wanted to measure up to a more improved version of myself. I wanted to be the "picture" in my mind.

The guilt I feel when I don't make it is usually what I find myself focusing on. I have began to apply the approach I take to eating right, parking far from the store so I can just walk further, and sticking with my pushups, and have applied it to my prayer life.

Instead of focusing on the "bad" that I did when I missed it, I wake up and make myself think of how GOOD I will feel after I am done praying. I think of how I will feel when I don't choose to comfort myself with sin that makes me feel better than others. I think of how much better I will feel when I do what's hard right now.

This seems to remove so much of the guilt of missing a prayer time. I stop focusing on how I feel because I missed it, and now I focus on what I will feel like if I don't miss it, which is always amazing. I love that feeling of being finished with my Bible reading, praying, worshipping, Christian fellowship, or serving someone else. I feel so good when I'm finished with my pushups, when I order water or tea instead of soda. When I decide to get a salad instead of french fries, or chicken instead of red meat.

The pain I feel when I make myself get up to pray, or to make my bed in the morning, to pick up the trash today instead "getting it later," is nothing compared to the joy I feel when I DO choose the right action.

I find this statement to be true: The pain of discipline is always less than the pain of regret. So, I realize that I must shift my thinking to what I will experience when I DO the right actions spiritually and physically, not of how bad I feel when I don't.