I was in a church service this morning, and was enjoying the music portion of the worship service. I chose my usual seat, up in the balcony, away from as many people as possible so I can sing as loud as I want to, and not really feel like any one except God can hear me. It helps me to concentrate on just Him.
I walked down the back steps, and tried not to draw any attention to myself. I had a plan. I wanted to be involved in a fun ministry I knew was taking place at the same time as the service I was in.
I walked down the hall, said hi to a man who didn't want to smile at me, and then, I heard the rumblings of what I was looking for...I could hear the sounds of children's voices having fun. It sounded like they were trying to shout directions at the same time to someone up front. I finally was able to see what they were all doing.
They were all split up into teams, and since blue is my favorite color, I decided to sit with blue. They were in 3rd place out of 4 teams. There wasn't much I could do, but I was determined to try.
I was sitting with some of the students I knew, when the Pastor asked me to come up and help him. The room was dark, with only the light with the color of the team you were on shining on each team. They had fog machines going, so it was, well...foggy.
He was sharing about how bitterness can wrap up your heart and hurt it. He then proceeded to wrap chains around me and put 4 different locks on them.
I couldn't move. The chains were heavy as well. I began to realize I was being set up.
I had gone into this room looking to help with loving children. They share such a big part of my heart. They are what we all long to be....free and innocent. They aren't worried about being cool yet. They aren't afraid to let go and just be goofy. They aren't trying to fit in, they aren't trying to figure out God, or ministry, or how to find their future someone, what job to take, where to go to school. They are children, and they are free.
The set up continues. I begin to recognize that the heart I have can get chained up inside when I am not careful. I can allow the careless choice to remain bitter to eat away at my strength and innocence, and to 'weigh' me down. When he unlocked the chains, I was no longer bound. I could walk freely. I could go wherever I wanted to. I could sit by who ever I wanted to.
I realized that sometimes we think we are free to do "what we want," when really, we are doing the opposite of what someone wants us to. We aren't free, we are still chained up. We have made ourselves believe we are free, when really, we woul have a very difficult time stopping our current choices.
I want to be really free. I want to be free to be innocent, and to go where I really want to be able to go, which is wherever the Lord would have use of me. I want to be free enough to go into a childrens church, get chained up, sit next to some boys and encourage them to listen, and free enough to see that while I'm going where God has use of me, He is teaching me about the freedom to be there in the first place.
I walked down the back steps, and tried not to draw any attention to myself. I had a plan. I wanted to be involved in a fun ministry I knew was taking place at the same time as the service I was in.
I walked down the hall, said hi to a man who didn't want to smile at me, and then, I heard the rumblings of what I was looking for...I could hear the sounds of children's voices having fun. It sounded like they were trying to shout directions at the same time to someone up front. I finally was able to see what they were all doing.
They were all split up into teams, and since blue is my favorite color, I decided to sit with blue. They were in 3rd place out of 4 teams. There wasn't much I could do, but I was determined to try.
I was sitting with some of the students I knew, when the Pastor asked me to come up and help him. The room was dark, with only the light with the color of the team you were on shining on each team. They had fog machines going, so it was, well...foggy.
He was sharing about how bitterness can wrap up your heart and hurt it. He then proceeded to wrap chains around me and put 4 different locks on them.
I couldn't move. The chains were heavy as well. I began to realize I was being set up.
I had gone into this room looking to help with loving children. They share such a big part of my heart. They are what we all long to be....free and innocent. They aren't worried about being cool yet. They aren't afraid to let go and just be goofy. They aren't trying to fit in, they aren't trying to figure out God, or ministry, or how to find their future someone, what job to take, where to go to school. They are children, and they are free.
The set up continues. I begin to recognize that the heart I have can get chained up inside when I am not careful. I can allow the careless choice to remain bitter to eat away at my strength and innocence, and to 'weigh' me down. When he unlocked the chains, I was no longer bound. I could walk freely. I could go wherever I wanted to. I could sit by who ever I wanted to.
I realized that sometimes we think we are free to do "what we want," when really, we are doing the opposite of what someone wants us to. We aren't free, we are still chained up. We have made ourselves believe we are free, when really, we woul have a very difficult time stopping our current choices.
I want to be really free. I want to be free to be innocent, and to go where I really want to be able to go, which is wherever the Lord would have use of me. I want to be free enough to go into a childrens church, get chained up, sit next to some boys and encourage them to listen, and free enough to see that while I'm going where God has use of me, He is teaching me about the freedom to be there in the first place.
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